A Little Change Goes a Long Way

I'm not talking about the bums on the street here.... although they seem to think so. I'm talking about switching my blog to a different account.
I know I have a few blogs going, I'm sure you've seen one or two of them. Pretty much everything will remain the same except the name of the blog and the URL. All you have to do is go there are start following me there instead of here. The name of the blog is Exquisite Identity, and the URL is: www.exquisiteidentity.blogspot.com (click the link to check it out before signing up).
So far there is only 1 post, but I hope to post once every day. Here's a few reasons why I've changed things up:

• I bought a blogging book and I want to make my blogs look a little more professional
• I need to clean things up a bit, and starting fresh seem to be a good idea
• When I go to the blogger home page it automatically signs me in through my Google account and I figured it'd be easier to just have everything at one place instead of multiple.

So, as soon as I see that each person following me on here is following me on my new blog (and I have each post transferred)  I'll delete this blog.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

-C

I've Gone Platinum!!

So, for those of you who don't know me, have never seen a picture of me etc... I've been a brunette my whole life. I've been light-brunette, medium brunette, and dark (almost black) brunette. I've had the reddish-brown hair, I've had the light brown hair with blonde highlights. I've even had my own, natural hair colour a few times hehe.

This past week I was in touch with a lady named Reine (pronounced Reign) from Place D'Orleans in Orleans. She was looking for a girl with a pretty face (not to toot my own horn....) who could be a model for her hair styling competition. Last year she didn't win because she was too considerate for the model's needs and didn't cut her hair as short as she wanted to. So, being inspired by my mom who shaved her head completely saying "It's just hair, it'll grow back." I told her that she could do whatever she liked to my head, go wild.
Of course she was happy to hear that. So Thursday I went in for my first appointment where she bleached my hair. It took a total of 3 hours to go from:
THIS.....

 TO THIS!!

Overall, I really like it. James says I should stay blonde, at least for a little while. I'm still not sure about staying this way. It does give me an excuse to to my makeup really dramatic! lol

Anyways, have a good weekend everyone! And a very special Happy Birthday to one of my very special followers!

Life.... Interrupted

Hey Guys and Dolls,

Oh the wonderful world of which we live. Isn't it just splendid? Oh, sorry, I forgot that you can't be sarcastic in writing.

The whole Kingston thing went right down the tube. We went to Kingston to look at apartments, and while we were there the lady who is coordinating my funding for school called me and said "Listen, I'm really sorry, but we have to cancel your contract." (This was followed-up with a trip to her house only to find out that she doesn't work from her home... OOPS!) So the next day I woke up and jumped on the phone immediately with St. Lawrence college and asked them if they had received any kind of tuition or anything and they said "Yes, actually, we have, we have a sponsorship letter for you right here." So I got them to fax it to me ASAP, them mom got on the phone with her lawyer and proceeded to explain the situation (did I forget to mention they called me 3 weeks before school starts?). After explaining he said "Well Cheryl, so long as you have a copy of that sponsorship letter, you have a case". So, back on the phone we got with Elaine's (my coordinator) boss and explained to her that if they don't fix all of this, and fix it fast we'll take them to court for about 3 times the amount they were originally supposed to give me. After a few days of no word from them I started to get worried about finding an apartment in Kingston as it's 3 hours away from us and we can't go look every weekend. So I said "F*** it, I'll just go to school in Ottawa". Shortly after making this decision I got a phone call saying that because there was such a huge mix up they'll give me everything that was originally promised to me, to which I replied "Great, but switch it to Ottawa, I've already gotten everything sorted out on their end, all they need is a sponsorship letter."

So here we go again. I'm currently waiting for Elaine to get back from some kind of conference or something so she can get the ball rolling so I can get my timetable. I'm hoping that she's actually already sent them something but there's no way I can be sure since she never calls when I'm home.

I already have an apartment, and that's a good thing (first and last month's rent is paid). The only thing I'm waiting on now is for Elaine to tell me everything is done. Oh the stress of life.

Ha, speaking of stress, I went back to my job on the 15th, gave them my two weeks notice, then got so sick of them that I left on my lunch break yesterday and didn't look back (actually, that's a lie, I did look back, so I could give the building the finger as I left). TEEHEE.

But, so far that's an update of my life. Isn't it exciting? Don't worry, it'll get better once I'm back in school taking my hour long bus ride there. GRR.

Oooo.... Ahhh.... Hmmm.... Haaa...

So, August 7th I'll be headn' 'er down to Kingston to take a browse around for an apartment. Can I just say that I am SUPER excited for that? I haven't been someplace (other than an itty bitty shit-town) since....... my weekend in Niagara Falls with Key Club. Oh boy that was a while ago.

Today James and I were discussing what we want to do with our lives. He was considering going back to school to be a lawyer (which I was totally for) but now he's starting to take another look at that decision because then he "has" to go back to a part-time minimum-wage job (I told him he doesn't have to, he could always be a security guard at a bar, or someplace where he only works evenings or weekends). So now it's back to the military idea.... which  scares me a little. I don't like the military. I don't like the control they have over you once you're there, and I don't like how they mess around with you as much as they possibly can. And I really don't like the idea of my man being gone for 6 months at a time, not knowing if he's OK or not. It just really scares me. I wish he'd take my wants into consideration. There's so many jobs he could get with his current qualifications.... why can't he just grasp that.

Then we started talking about what we should have done in high school, what mistakes we made (he wishes he'd taken more math so he can take the Astrophysics ((or something like that)) at Queen's), and I wish I would have kept with my writing classes. Now, I don't regret taking my baking courses, I love baking and I love decorating cakes, I still do it quite often (speaking of which, I have 200 cupcakes to make for August 13th!), but I also LOVE writing and really regret not taking more courses on the subject. I was supposed to take a few of them, Journalism, Creative Writing, and History of Literature (or something similar). But then one of the courses was going to be taught by a teacher I wasn't very fond of, and I dropped all of them to take other courses. I also wish I would have taken a few more phys-ed courses. That would have come in handy... I probably wouldn't have gained all this weight.

Ahh regrets... don't you just love them? I probably should have studied harder my last year too, and (I'll admit) there was a certain someone who distracted me from the wonderful world of knowledge. I wouldn't change that for the world though. James is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me, I love him to death. Speaking of which, time to drive 20 minutes to go get him from work..... (Kingston has public transit YAY)!

Ciao for now!

-C

Doctors and Therapists and Apartment Searching ..... OH MY!

Yep.... the title says it all. That is my life in a nutshell right now.


Right around the 30th of April I discovered that I was going to have to move back home (thanks to my old roommate who decided to be oh so kind and move out 3 hours before rent was due). So we packed up our bags (and everything else in the apartment) and moved everything into my parents 2 story home. Let me just say... moving home wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I've since had to leave work due to stress, start seeing my doctor every 3 weeks, see a therapist, and all the while clean the house, drive James to work, run errands for Mom (every second Thursday has since turned into my own personal hell), AND search for an apartment in Kingston. Which is my next stop by the way.


Yes, Kingston. Why Kingston you ask? Well it certainly wasn't my first choice, which was actually Ottawa, but that just so happened to be the next place that James (my boyfriend if you haven't caught on yet) wanted to go to school. To the Royal Military College to be exact. Now, because the military doesn't give a shit about anyone other than themselves and his notification time went from "Oh we'll let you know if you've been accepted by February 15th" to "We'll let you know by the 28th..." to "You'll know by March 5th" to HIM calling and them saying "Oh, you weren't accepted..." I had to act quick on my feet when the 1st of March rolled around and it was time to decide where to go to school and say "Alright, Kingston it is."


So I decided on Kingston. Which isn't a bad choice, it really isn't, Kingston is a beautiful city with loads of history. I'm sure I'll have a splendid time there. Oh, and just so everyone's aware, I'm going there to study Esthetic's, I was going to study baking but the baking industry is so hard to get into.... however I'm still a very avid cake baker just like I always was... check out the doozie's I've recently made!


 

Those are my most recent beauties... hehe


Will update again soon!


-C

Sally Hansen Nail Polish Strips Review

Hey Everyone,

I just posted my review on Love that White Smile, but I recently discovered another new product that I'm in love with and that's Sally Hansens NEW Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips.

Now, if you're familiar with Sally's 14 day nail shield, these are very similar exept for a few main differences I'll go over.

So above, I'm showing the Nail Polish Strips in Skinny Jean. I havn't actually worn this particular pattern as of yet, but I'm sure I will eventually.

The product claims to stay on for 10 days. Now, the first time I put these on I was on my way to a Mary Kay meeting so I put them on in my car, in a hurry. THIS time I took my time and made sure they went on properly. (Today I'm wearing IT GIRL) Here's the list of things I LOVED about this product:

1. They're SUPER quick. With a normal manicure you have to clean your nails, buff your nails, push back your cuticles, shape your nails, apply your base coat, apply 1-2 coats of your nail polish (wait to dry in between coats otherwise you'll end up with icky streaks) wait for your last coat of COLOUR to dry, then apply your top coat, then wait for THAT to dry, then you can go about your day (and still possibly end up screwing up the entire manicure by wacking your nail of something that scrapes the polish off). With this, the basics are still the same, make sure nails are clean, push back cuticles, shape and lightly smooth the nail surface. Then you just grab your strips and smooth them onto the nail. No drying, no second or third coat, not even a base or top coat! AMAZING.

2. They're reasonably priced (about $10). Yes, for a bottle of nail polish it's about $4-$8 and you get multiple uses out of it... but the job won't last nearly as long, you could potentially really screw up polish (get it all over your cuticles... all over the tip of your finger.... etc etc), and you have to buy all the other stuff to make your nails look pretty!

3. Unlike the 14 day nail shield where you put it on and the size of the sheild was the size of the sheild. You can stretch these (because it's made out of nail enamel the product actually streches so it can fit your nail properly. Now, you have to do this very carefully and be patient otherwise it could tear, but otherwise you have a nail polish strip that fits your nail exactly.

4. They aren't sticker-like. A lot of complaints about similar products are they look like stickers (probably because they don't stretch like these ones). But as long as they're applied properly, they look like you expertly put on an amazing nail polish (the patterns don't look as realistic as nail polish, and they aren't meant to, it's a pattern for pitys sake... you definately didn't take the time to draw all those little tiny flowers and butterflies! As for the glittery strips (Bling-it-On etc) they'll keep your friends guessing!) 

Overall this product is great!  I love, love, love these nail strips! I highly reccomend you go out and get these, even if it's just for a night out. Personally, I'll probably choose to wear them all the time. Have a good one everybody!

- C

Love that White Smile Review

Hey there everyone!

I just figured that since I'm enjoying my new tooth whitening system SO much I would do a review on it.

Now, I only just started out with the cleansing/whitening system, and the cleansing/whitening pen, and I am already LOVING this product! I started using the system on Monday, brushing my teeth twice a day (you bush like you normally would with toothpaste - I use whitening toothpaste but you can use whatever) and using the foam twice a day. Today is Saturday and I already see a great difference. It wasn't three days like the box implied, but when I was using my whitestrips I didn't see a difference at all, and it tasted gross and it was sticky.

Now I bought the cleansing/whitening pen today. This part of the system is for when you're on the go and you say, drink a bottle of pop, or have a coffee. To prevent stains from occurring (and to boost whitening) you twist the bottom, scrub into your teeth, then continue on your way. Now, this irritated my gums a tiny bit... but since I saw the difference almost immediately with the pen, I decided it was worth the 20 dollars on top of the 50 I already spent on the initial cleansing system.

This product is worth the money. Like I said it's been 6 days and I'm already seeing a difference. The ultimate test will be seeing if my mom notices (she used to be a dental assistant, so if anyone will pay attention to my teeth it'll be her). I'll update tomorrow after I go see her.

In the meantime, if you're looking for a whitening product, check this one out!

- C

Surgical Recovery: Oh the Pain

It has almost been a week since my surgery, which went well. I was very scared and as soon as I wasn't with my mom I cried. It basically went like this:

Wednesday morning we drove to the hospital where once I was in the surgical ward they proceeded to get me changed into a gown. Then I waited for about 45 minutes for someone to come get to take me to the OR. A very nice nurse told me to get into the bed then wheeled me down the hall and put me behind a curtain against the wall, where the anesthesiologist was going to come talk to me. The surgeon actually came over first to explain the procedure. He told me that they'd cut a hole near my belly button, a very small one. Then they'd insert a camera into that hole (I think it was actually inserted in the hole above it, but what do I know). After inserting the camera they'd pump some gas into my stomach to blow it up so he can see. Then they'd do two more incisions on the side of my belly to insert tools so he could clamp my gallbladder and remove it. Which I was ok with. However, I was not ok with going to sleep and not knowing what was going on, so I got really scared and started bawling.  After sitting there and crying for about ten minutes the anesthesiologist came and told me that first they'd bring me into the room and hook me up to some monitors. Then they'd put an IV in me (at this point I stopped her and told her I'm scared of IV's and she said she'd give me some laughing gas so I won't care about the pain). Then they'd inject some stuff into the IV to make me numb, then they'd put me to sleep. After all that I'd be put into the recovery room until my belly deflates then I'll me moved to a regular room in the surgical ward.

Now, most of this went exactly the way they said. Went into the room, got on the operating table, had stickers put all over me which were attached to monitors, had a gas mask put on me for the laughing gas (which I'm familiar with from the dentists office). After the laughing gas was put on me though, that's where things went like I hadn't expected. First off I still felt the IV, it hurt. It was cold, it stung and my hand throbbed. I could feel it fine because my eyes were closed from the gas and all I had to focus on was the sound of the nurses voice and the pain in my hand. Then the nurse told me to open my eyes (and there were a few more people in the room then when I'd closed them. After they were opened I heard "now this is going to pinch" and my inner wrist hurt like hell. I think the IV had come out of my vein on my hand so they had to put it someplace else. They had taken me off the laughing gas at this point so I was no longer in a fog and it hurt so bad I couldn't stop crying. Then they put the oxygen mask on me and that's the last thing I remember until I woke up.

Waking up from gallbladder surgery was..... painful. The gas in my stomach made it incredibly difficult to breathe (I actually couldn't sleep very well afterwards because my breathing was so shallow I thought I wasn't). The only thing that made it easier to breathe was laying on my side, which - as you can imagine - hurt like hell since I had 4 fresh holes in my stomach and my belly was blown up so big it looked like I had 2 pillows piled up on top of my stomach.

I was in and out of sleep for a few hours, woke up once but felt so sick that I had to go back to sleep. Finally I woke up and was feeling alright. The nurse (who was very mean by the way) got me some cookies and crackers and gingerale and got me moving again.

Recovery wasn't too bad. I laid in bed most of the time and didn't want to move much. I'm moving a lot better now. I've been running errands all day, but I'm definitely going to need my rest later today since I'm starting to feel the pain worse now. I'll probably be back to work Friday as long as I'm feeling up to it. Getting up and down a lot is going to be hard on me so I don't know how it'll work out, but we will see.

- Cassy

Well HEYYY!

Long time no post....

I'm sorry, there isn't often much for me to actually post about. However, today is a different story. Yesterday morning I took a trip to the emergency room having a gallbladder attack. There, they proceeded to rush me into a room and give me a shot of demerol in the bum. Then the transfered me into another room where I slept for most of the day. After that shot of demerol wore off I was given another shot in my thigh (which is still swollen and bruised and hard....). Hours and hours went by, with me waiting for blood test results to come back (which would show nothing other than I had been drinking the night before) at which point the doctors would probably tell me to go home; and that's when the mama bear stepped in. She demanded I have a surgeon look at me. When the surgeon finally came and saw me he said that surgery that night was out of the question but he could do it Wednesday. I stayed the night, just in case I had another attack. And this morning he said that there's no point in me staying there, so I came home, with an appointment booked for Wednesday morning for my operation.

There you have it, Wednesday morning I will be going for surgery to have my gallbladder removed. As of right now I'm on a clear fluids diet, eating nothing but broth (not even actual soup!), apple juice, jello/pudding, and hard candy. Boy oh boy I can't WAIT to dig into a big slice of hawiian pizza!

I will update as the week goes on (I can't guarantee much before Monday since I will be at my parents house where there is only dial-up).

Hope to post again soon!
-Cassy

New post... sorry I haven't been.

Hey there everyone. I'm sorry I haven't been posting. I've been busy. If you want to hear what's been up you can check out my other blog (www.victoiranchic.onsugar.com).  My life has pretty much been the same since my last post about my Nan. I've moved in with my boyfriend downtown. I've started working full time at a call center for American Express. I have pretty much no life outside of my house, the internet and work (though I guess pretty much everyone is like that eh). If I wanted to, I could write a big long post about how much my roommate drives me crazy, what my boyfriend has been up to, what bothers me about work, how tonight I got to see my friends for the first time in a long time, and how I've been trying to lose weight. But here's the short version:

My roommate is a jerk. My house is small and I put up with his crap even though I don't have to.
I have a dog, her name is Milly and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to get rid of her because my boyfriend wants to pay strippers instead of her vet bills.
My boyfriend is amazing, but since he's a man he doesn't think before he does things, so I'm currently pissed at him.
American Express card members drive me crazy, do me a favor and give your credit card company a break, you got an overlimit fee because you went over your limit, yes the interest charges are correct we don't care if you were away on vacation, we didn't receive your payment, therefore you got charged interest, yes dumbass it did effect your credit bureau score, no I can't fix it for you, yes I could remove the interest, but I don't want to because you're demanding.
I went out tonight with my friends, at first is was supposed to be just my friends, then it turned into my friends and my bf, then just before we went out it turned into my friends, my boyfriend, and his friends, which means I spent more money than I planned on spending and now I'm alone because my boyfriend went to the bar.
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight, and I'm doing very well, I've lost 8 lbs so far and every time I step on the scale the number is lower. GO ME.

But now, I'm going to try to relax, and possibly dig into my boyfriend's booze.

Sorry!

I'm so sorry everyone, for not writing, I've been so busy lately.

First and foremost, about a week and a half ago, I stubbed my toe on my uncle's coffee table, and what I thought was a broken toe that was bleeding, was infact a broken toenail, which is now a hanging-on-by-the-skin-around-it toenail (in other words, my toenail is now hallow... hollow? Either way, it's gross, but at the same time, very interesting, I can't seem to take my eyes off it).

Monday I started the training for my new job (which is pointless and boring, but at least it's easy and I get weekends off). I can't even begin to tell you how incredibly annoyingly STUPID the training is... actually, I can't tell you much of anything, since I signed a confidentaility agreement. The basics are... I work for American Express as one of the agents you get when you call the number on the back of the card. I could tell you a lot about American Express (the cards, the insurances, the benifits, the uselessness of it all) but I can't get you discounts, or tell you much else about my job. (By the way, anyone who's signing up for a American Express Costco Rebate Card, be sure to READ the entire agreement before signing it, if you don't want your membership put on your American Express card, check the box that says so, and know that's it's a rebate of UP to 2%.... usually the rebate cheque is correct, sorry.

After a long first week at work (which is in the same building my Dad works at *YAY!*) I got off and went camping for the weekend. For anyone who knows me, that involved a lot of time on the beach, doing pretty much nothing since running/tubing/biking/physical activity is not on the list of things I can do at the moment, though I am improving. I can now walk up and (sometimes) down stairs, walk to and from macs, without my knee hurting. I've been exercising (even if it is only walking and doing situps/push-ups/physio) but not as much as I'd like to... hopefully this week I'll keep better track of things.

I'm moving out of my house, and in with my uncle with my boyfriend. Things aren't really working out for him, and my uncle needs someone to be there with his son through out the night, and I can't do that if I'm working till 3 in the morning (starting in september). Hopefully that'll work out.

I hope to keep on top of things here and on my other blog, as well as with everything else that's going on in my life. :)

-Cassy

Failure to Follow the Book

So as I mentioned in a previous post, I wanted to blog about every recipe in this book called "The Golden Book Of Baking". Well, so far, I've failed, I've only made two recipes, and that was about a month ago. I will try to make in upcoming weeks, but can't make any promises as I will be busy with work, and probably won't have the money to buy special ingredients for recipes. But I will try.

Alright, so Now You're Going to Complain?

After days of asking her to come get her table, she comes and gets it, and at the same time she takes her whiteboard with her. What do you do? Call her vindictive, and names that I will not repeat on this blog. Good for you, you're mature. It's her stuff, stop bitching, and get new stuff. By the way, she's coming back to get ler lawn chairs, just thought you should know. Oh, and by the way, does she have a reason to NOT be vindictive? You screwed your new slutty girlfriend while you were with her, I think she has a very good reason be be vindictive. I certainly would be if I were in her shoes. Just be lucky she didn't take that wonderful bbq she got you. Dumbass.

Sincerely,
Cassy

P.S. I would have said this to your F-ing FACE, but I'm scared you'll hit me.

Incredibly Awesome Night

Tonight I spent an amazing night dancing away, and drinking with friends. My dear friend Cassy was there (no, I'm not referring to myself, I really do have a good friend named Cassy), and we helped her party all night long. I'm am now feeling just a little bit shitting, and quite frankly would like to go to bed.... but I don't want to go out to the tent alone. I will stay right here and relax, hanging out with my hunny and his dad.

xoxo
-Cassy

Letter to the Asshole who Broke my Friends Heart

Why Hello Mr. I-didn't-have-the-balls-to-break-up-with-my-girlfriend-so-I-screwed-someone-else. I hope you have a nice life with that new, fat, ugly, bitch of a girlfriend. I hope you love her too (like you ever loved her), and I hope you decide that you'd like to marry her as well (good luck finding that engagement ring you bought for $200 for my friend).

You're an asshole. Treat her like shit for the past couple months, pulling her along. All she ever wanted was to make you happy, and you threw her sunshine and rainbows back her face, replaced with lighting storms and hail. You make me sick. When she called to come over the LEAST you could have done was say "Listen, I have a girl over here, and I think we have something, I don't think we're going to work out..." Instead, you lied, then when we came over, you said "are you spying on me?". Did we have a reason not to? Nope. Then when she found out, you laughed, and said "Oh, did you think I thought you wern't going to find out?". I really hope, for your sake that you were trying to hide it, and if that was your way of trying to get HER to break up with you, I hope someone comes up to your and rips off your manlihood, you don't deserve it anyways.

Have a really, really, nice life, I wish they keep you in the army, and make you work like a slave the rest of your life.
With all the anger in the world,
Cassy.

P.S. - if you have anything to say to me, be prepared, I have an endless amount of things to say to you.

Some Things I'll Miss About My Nanny....

1. Brown Sugar Sandwiches
2. The back rubs, the ones she did with just her fingernails, no one can back-rub like her, she'd do it for hours on end while we watched a movie or a tv show, or she's rub me to sleep.
3. Sleeping over at her house and going to church the next day.
4. The smell of her old apartment by KFC.
5. Her big comfy bed.
6. Waking up and being forced to wash my face and get the "sleep" out of the corners of my eyes.
7. Waking up and getting oatmeal with lots of milk and brown sugar after washing my face.
8. The cherry tomatoes she grew on her balcony, I'd pick them off all the time.
9. Her man-chasing.
10. Her complaining about having her car, and her phone, and her tv taken away from her.
11. Yard sales... they were few and far between, but every once and a while we'd go.
12. Doing laundry and hanging out with all the ladies at the apartments.

Some memories:

That time Steph and I both slept over at ther apartment and the fire alarm went off, we all went outside in our nighties.

The day she left me in the car on one of the hottest days of the year and I got dehydrated, I slept all day and she felt so bad.

Watching Benny Hinn and other religious shows on Sunday morning, before we went to church.

Picking blackberries.

Staying there around Christmas, going to see the singing christmas tree and her itty bitty tree.

Walking on the boardwalk, and getting ice cream.

Her friend Dolly from the old apartments. (RIP)

The old days.

Return of the Computer

After a week or two of being completely computer-less, my grandmother gave me $100 for my graduation, and I ran to Wal-Mart and bought a universal laptop cord, now it works! At least I know there was something wrong with the cord, not my laptop. Now I can start my youtube channel (yay me! just have to get started with actually making the videos), and keep up with both my blogs more easily.

I have a new blog  http://www.victorianchic.onsugar.com/. It's for women, unless you're into makeup, beauty products, womens nutrition and fitness, hair, and style. Be sure to follow me on both! :D

Yogurt

Lemon Meringue Parfait yogurt from Souce is the bomb.... that is all.

This is probably going to be my most depressing blog post ever, but I figure I should let everyone out there know what's going on. Last week my Nanny had a mini stroke and fell and broke her hip. For anyone who isn't caught up, my Nanny has a terminal form of cancer, Altzhiemers, and dementia. She isn't exactly the healthiest person in the world. Since her cancer is terminal it is too much of a risk to go for surgery and fix/replace her hip. Since then my parents, aunts and uncle have been taking turns spending every moment with her, she's never left alone. She's been getting progressively worse. She refuses to drink anything, and will only eat small meals and ice cream. Her mind is progressively getting younger, now I'd say she's probably around the mind-set of a three year old. However, anything to do with religion, and she's all for it, she'll listen to the pastor, and sing church songs with my mom. Funny how religion is so strong.

She's been in a lot of pain the past couple hours, and we don't think she's going to make it much longer.
Allthough I love her to death, I havn't gone to see her. I visited both my grandfathers in the hospital before they died, and I hate remembering them like that, and I don't want to remember her like that, it's bad enough that I have to remember her the way she was at my graduation. She was moved to pallative care yesterday.

I love you nanny.

-Cassy

Oh the Wonderful World of Relationships

Modern society is funny, it's like relationships don't mean anything anymore. There's a high divorce rate, people are cheating on eachother left right and centre, we don't seem to care about committment anymore. Those out there who are happy in their relationships are lucky, and work hard at it. Children are dating, young girls and boys are losing their virginity at ages as young as 13. Those three words "I love you" have no meaning behind them, they're words thrown out there to say you like someone, or you care about them. They're words used to get someone into bed, or get something that you want. People had it right in the old days (no, I don't mean 1960's) back when you courted for a long time before you got married, and when you did, he asked your father first, and he got down on one knee and asked you, he didn't propose over dinner by putting the ring in your dessert, he didn't propose on tv, and he didn't propose over a screen at a hockey or baseball game. Weddings were simple, yet extravagant, these days they're something to stress over and could put a lot of pressure on the relationship.

Love isn't something to be played around with, it's not a word that should be thrown around lightly, just like hate. When you love someone you care about them so deeply that if they were to go away, you would always be in love with them you couldn't be in another relationship three weeks later, you would have a hard time getting into a new relationship because that person is always on your mind. It doesn't happen in a couple days, or a couple weeks, and it certainly doesn't happen overnight. Love needs time to develop, it needs care, and trust. Love needs respect and it needs time. So many people tell me my boyfriend is an asshole because he doesn't love me, but I don't love him either, we care about eachother a lot, we take care of eachother, and can have long conversations about everything under the sun.

Our relationship isn't easy, and sometimes I wonder why I'm even bothering, but then I realize it's because he's special, he's the only person who isn't related to me to call me beautiful, he's the one person who makes me feel good every day, he makes me want to accomplish all my goals, and makes me want to enjoy life to the fullest. He'll do little things to make me feel like I am the best girlfriend in the world, and unlike many boyfriends out there, he never, ever, complains about me, even a little bit, because if he has a problem that we need to work out, he can talk to me about it. We realize that our relationship isn't going to last forever, but we want to make the most of every moment we have together. I know so many girls who have gone through so many boyfriends, and they've probably never had what we have, something that isn't rushed, and taken day by day. They've probably also never had to go through some of the things I've gone through with him, but that's ok, I don't mind going through these things, because when we finally work it out, it was worth it, I've learned so much, and so has he.

So weather you're 13 and going on your first date, or your 60 and happily married, try harder to understand the other person, try harder to make sure you're in love before you say it, and think about your relationship a little more often, because chanses are, if you're 13 and you think you're in love, you're not.